63 days and counting.

25 Feb

the number 63 looms over my head like a dark heavy cloud. it shouldn’t be this way, it was my goal after all. several weeks ago i got a beautiful cream coloured invitation in the mail. my oldest cousin was getting married. i enjoy a wedding as much as the next person, and yet i suddenly felt like sending no as my rsvp. for months now i have attempted to solve my weight issue, once and for all. and like every time before it, i failed miserably. i lost weight, only to sabotage myself and put it right back on, only in a matter of days. all that hard work, for nothing. and so i sit here at my desk typing a blog instead of a paper on the effects on business of lost time due to injury. i hung up this countdown of sorts more than two weeks, and just realized today i hadn’t ripped off a single sheet. the day i created this goal for myself is the day i failed. i’m not saying the goal is the problem, we all know that’s not true. i am the problem, and now faced with the big number of 63 i feel weighed down and hopeless. i have big hopes for this blog. followers would be fantastic, i’m not gonna lie. but even better would be the motivation. at 213lbs i have a long way to go. i’m going to keep my anchoring calendar above my head, and blog about my experience everyday. in 63 days i want to change my life. looking great in a dress is just the icing on the cake, no pun intended. i’ve opted for weight watchers in helping me with my journey. i have attempted the program on two other occasions and failed miserably. i believe in the program and know it works. i am the problem. i am a self-sabatouer. success doesn’t come easy to me and as soon as i have a taste of it i rip it away. why you may ask? i have no clue. but this journey is going to answer some of these questions for me or i will never succeed at anything, let alone weight maintenance.

about me sections are always hard to write, but i am going to attempt. if i luckily gain some followers i’m sure your going to want to know who writes this fabulous blog. my name is ash. my nickname is smush because the size of my cheeks. people like to smush my cheeks together, weird right? i’m also known as smash. i enjoy smash better than smush, but i know it comes from love. i live with my wonderful and stubborn boyfriend sam. we have been together just over 3 years now. i love him with all my heart and soul, even when he is being stubborn…… in him it is a cute quality. i am a student and work full time. i am finishing my studies in human resources management and i have just started a program in occupational health and safety, which is truly becoming a love of mine. its very refreshing to wake up and know what you want to do and your passionate in it. if you haven’t got there yet, don’t worry it will happen. i love the colour purple and i’m addicted to blistex. i own one to many bottles of perfume and am running out of places to store them. i am a self confessed nail freak. i have an obsession. i am painting or playing with my nails on a constant basis and check out nail blogs on a daily basis. it drives my bf mad on most days as the house always smells like acetone. mmmmm. told you i’m weird. i have a passion for cupcakes (which maybe my weight problem is stemming from) and i live for diet coke. at this point its past obsession but a necessity in life. if your going to follow my blog, i tend to type a lot. i have a hard time expressing myself in one sentence. so i have to write two. i am a grammar queen and hate the fact that people don’t use proper spelling. you’ll notice i don’t use any capitals in my blog. it really bothers me that i don’t. it was something i read in another bloggers post – Janetha from Meals and Moves. she doesn’t and i always found it interesting. so i’m adopting it too. hope she doesn’t mind. i leave you with a picture of my nails this fine day. get used to them. you’ll be seeing them lots. they love the spotlight.



for those wondering, this is sally hansen salon effects in kitty kitty. i wish i was this good, but i’m not. no patience.

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Posted by on February 25, 2011 in Uncategorized


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